The Daily Eris: Weasels Ripped My Flesh

I had a dream last night that I adopted a rat. Certainly, not as exciting or exotic as a bona fide weasel. (Don’t worry, we’ll be getting to the paranoid current events stuff soon enough!)

As I look up the word “bonafide” the first thing that pops up in my search is “vaginal dryness relief” in big letters. This is not how I want to start my day. The next result down (the first one apparently an ad for a menopause pill) I do get the official definition of “bonafide,” which is, apparently, spelled “bona fide.” Then the next result on the Google is more paid ads about the menopause pill.

Bona fide: Latin, meaning “the real thing.” Bona = good, Fide like “Fidelis,” which means faithful & loyal (though if you look up “fidelis” on the Google the first things you get are ads for medical services. It’s almost as if there’s a pattern here).

Now, “mala fide” means “in bad faith.” There are no product ads on the Google for this term, which I guess makes sense. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard a person use the term “mala fide” in daily conversation—like, ever.

Here are pictures of the heads of Twitter & Facebook at a recent U.S. congressional hearing:

Dudes look like they’ve SEEN shit, am I wrong? Nobody looks like that unless they’ve seen, and been privy to, some serious shit!

For contrast, here’s a picture of them when they were just starting out with Twitter & Facebook:

But now, by 2020, they’ve seen shit. The smiles gave been wiped off their goddamn faces.

What do you think they’ve seen? (Let us know in the comments!)

***

Greenwich Time has a rundown on the pretzel-like eschatological logic that Evangelical Christian leaders have used to justify supporting the most obvious elephant-in-the-room candidate for the fulfillment of the Biblical Antichrist prophecy. To diagram it all for you really deserves its own post, but as a general comment on the entire thing: Christ actually predicted this shit! He predicted people misinterpreting him and using his words to say and do and justify evil shit.

I’ll give you an example. In Matthew 5, Jesus talks about “if your hand offends thee, cut it off” and “if you look at a woman lustfully you’ve already committed adultery,” and all that jazz. Now, for the longest time I’ve seen this passage of the Bible interpreted as: “we need to get even more strict with sinners!” But that totally misses the point of the chapter and of the Sermon on the Mount as a whole!

The point of Matthew 5–and the Sermon on the Mount as a whole—is to say, “hey, stop being such a self-righteous asshole pointing fingers at everyone else, everybody sins! Be cool!” It didn’t mean: “you must now strictly monitor your very thoughts so they contain no lustful sin.” Instead, it meant: “everybody sins: so cut people a break and be cool! And cut yourself a break while you’re at it!”

But the temptation to use Christ’s words as just another cudgel to control and beat over the head the masses was just too great. And it’s still going on today. Which means: actually, Christ’s words are still relevant today; but perhaps not quite the way your Trump-supporting TV preacher is telling you.

But the bigger issue here, beyond Trump (who is, of course, our comic book villain/Watchmen giant alien squid), is this: on a primal level, less evolved people would choose death over change. The world is changing: to them, that is “the end of the world.” Because it’s the end of their world; and fuck everyone else.

I’m just a big ray of sunshine, I know.

***

***

A landmark study finds that dog-owners are 78% more likely to catch COVID-19.

The author of the study:

***

But seriously, Folks: how are you handling the latest iteration of Lockdown? (Let us know in the comments!)

A) It’s cross-pollinating with my psychological co-morbidities nicely.

B) It’s obvs the End Times and I’m going to defiantly celebrate Thanksgiving in-person with my entire extended family because we’re protected ‘cause God.

C) Thank God I have a excuse not to visit my family for Thanksgiving.

D) I make my own hummus now.

E) Is this all a simulation?

***

Thanks for reading. Have a great day. Hail Hermes the trickster god.

3 comments

  1. thinking about the Sermon. Not to sure about your exegesis there, though the sentiment about cutting others a break is good (“judge not”, “laying burdens they themselves will not bear” ) but that’s the chapter ends telling us to love even our enemies (going that crazy extra mile) that plain old regular loving nice people isn’t going to cut it.

    “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think to be as perfect as God partially means being able to accept paradoxes. As for the “loving your enemies” bit, I’ll admit it’s been a tough pill for me to swallow (hence I got stuck in Matthew 5 much longer than I intended to)

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s